Friday, November 2, 2007

Why would we have to pick another winner of the pre-order raffle? Here's why:

One of our customer's is an awesome writer. Here's his scenario of why any of the first 10 winners wouldn't secure their Ringo in time. hehehe. (At this point there are 2 unsecured pre-orders)

pinkghost wrote:


Hi Sean,

Thank you :) We're glad you are happy with our [Ringo pre-order raffle] system. At this point there are 3 people who haven't paid their pre-order. If they don't pay by midnight Nov 3rd we pick randomly again. Good Luck!

Cheers!
Paola



Well I think that's a nice thought but I believe that the only way one of the lucky 3 will not step forward is if they were diligently waiting by their email for word of their selection to buy the most coveted toy in decades and when they got the word they started to hyperventilate! In their flailing attempt to draw their credit card from their overstuffed wallet buldging with receipts from previous vinyl conquests and lottery tickets bought in a desperate attempt to supliment their toy collecting cash flow which of course never pays off but would prove to be very unlucky if they dared throw out even one of those precious orange tickets...though oh how they mock him so...
Just then at the moment of an exceedingly violent inhale a pack of the afore mentioned reciepts and tickets dislodge from their velcro and dunny bedazzled resting place and speed directly toward our unwitting victim's face subsequently and oddly enough slicing both of his retinas and his vocal chords at the same time.

Excited, Sort of breath, Blinded, and mute our intrepid vinyleer bolts upright and stumbles backward upturning his room in a violent effort to find something...anything to wash the gushing blood and occular fluid from his now useless eyes. He haplessly stumbles into his fish tank..aaaah the fish tank which has always offered him a soothing diversion from the harsh realities of the outside world. the fish tank where he would spend hours watching the colorful fish dart back an forth in a veritable dance of color and beauty. he dunks his hands into the cool water hoping to wash the stinging miriad of bodily fluids from his aching and now vacant orbital sockets! Little did he know that Ashton Kutcher, was at that moment hiding in his hand customized Joe Ledbetter cloths hamper after having switched out his regular fish for a sack of Pirrhanas and electric eels! No sooner had our hero stuck his first finger into the murkey water, he was beset by the flesh starved razor toothed beasties who had, in no time reduced his hand to a gooey, fingerless pulp and were playfully darting back and forth nipping at the remnents of skin belonging to what "Obscure Body Part Model" Magazine had once toughted as the "most exqusite example of Gods plan on earth" "Hands so perfectly formed, skin more supple than had ever been seen or will ever be seen again". Hands that were the 5 time running winner of the coveted "Handie" award in recognition of their owner being the most sought after Hand Model of our time!! All of that was now gone in a flash and to add insult to agonizing injury the afore mentioned electric eel was now wrapped around what was left of his arm sending a current of 650 volts through our happless toyfan causing him to jerk violently and fall backward flailing at anything that would break his fall finally coming to rest on his collection of rare Star Trek underoos! Something about the electricity now flowing through his body mixed with the synthetic fabric of children's undergarments from the '70 created a temporal rift...a tear in space and time which manifested in a Causality loop in which our friend will experience this same set of events over and over in a degrading loop for the next 3 days....

Just long enough for their time for this offer to lapse and for me to slip in for the "Coop De Gracie" BooYah! Ringo is mine and it was just all too simple!!!

Sooo that's what I'm shooting for!
Let me know!
Sean :-s

1 Comments:

Blogger Sean Perkey said...

Dear PG,
Wow! What a great story! What talent and wit! I sure hope that guy got offered a Ringo pre-order!
Love, Some random Guy on the EnterNets!
(Absolutely Not Sean! Why would you think that? Well it's not...at all...ok? So just put that thought out of your mind completely.)

November 4, 2007 5:51 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home